It is not unusual to have conflicting feelings about whether you want to remain married or cut the strings and become a free man or woman. While it is a very personal decision that will have to be made eventually one way or another, there three factors that often weigh in heavily.

1. Staying married for the children. Children do suffer tremendously from the divorce of their parents and all of the changes that come along with it, but they also suffer from the tension, fighting, and other negative aspects of living with parents who are not getting along.

The absolute best scenario for a child would be for the parents to work through their issues and return to a happy union. Whatever emotional damage has already been created from the tension in your marriage is best healed by allowing the children to see you problem solve and restore peace to your marriage.

2. Affections for someone else. When there is another love interest involved on the side or when one spouse has growing feelings for someone else (even if they are not cheating) this weighs heavily on the decision to remain married or separate. Even if you think you are being rational minded and are trying to resolve the marriage before entering a steady relationship with that other person, you have to assume that on some level in your mind those other affections are playing a role.

In this situation you have get to the root of your emotions for the other person. Are you genuinely in love with this other person, or are they merely filling a hole for something you are not getting in your marriage? The best scenario is when you are filling a hole, because you can work with your spouse to fill up the hole.

3. Financial Considerations. Love and money will forever be tangled. Many people who want a divorce feel it is not in their interest because of the financial strains that will come from paying child support, new living expenses, and all of the legal fees to work out the terms of divorce and get it finalized.

An unhappy marriage is not cheap in terms of emotional pain and stress, and no divorce ever leads to the happiness you think it will deliver. The best scenario is to work out the marriage so that you remain happy and get to keep the fruits of all your hard work. When this is not possible, remember that it is expensive any way you go and base the decision on other factors.